NNNNObodies fault but mine.!

How many people here have been mad at something someone else has done but you yourself had been an "enabler"? I will give you an example. I recently loaned a friend some money. When the agreed on time to pay it back had been reached I did ask about it. The short story is that I may never see my money again. I was kind of pissed at the other whom I had lent the money to and that they are just going to walk on the loan. And I started thinking and the answer I found was not that THEY were at fault, but that I had not assumed responsibility for making the loan. I first looked at it that I had been duped once again by a friend with a hard luck and need story. I empathized with their story and knew that the need was real. But was angry I had bitten on the part where they promised to pay back and now would not. But really, to make it short and sweet, I loanded my friend money, and I did so with out thought that I may never see that money again. I assumed the other party was a scout and scout's honor would pay me back. And I am sure my friend would indeed pay me back if they had it but they are poor people like I am and do not have the money to pay it back. I realized that when I loan someone money that I assume the risk that it will not be repaid. If I do anything for friend or foe, I am taking a risk. And I have to assume in my calculations and reflections on wherher I do this or that, that I risk that I may be on the totally loosing side of the equation and that I have to understand that, I am taking a risk. Me , no body else, is taking the risk. And until that time when I see that money back in my hand, I am the one that make the decision to make the loan. I am the one that made the loan and that I am the one that is the ultimate guarantor of such a loan, and should consider it charity until it is paid back. And I should remember to give charity with a generous heart. Of course money is the earthbound universal constant. Everybody talks about money but money here is a metaphor for any risk taking behavior. I am in love with a lady now, for instance, who has had my putative child. No matter whose responsibility it was that the child was conceived and that she married a third party, I am on the outs with her and have been unable to access the child, we did do the "wild thing" and there is a child. I can be angry and upset but I cannot blame my part in the interaction, where it was an interaction, on her. I was not bound and forcibly made to ejaculate, I chose to do so. She was my desire and so was the child. That it stands as it stands for the time being is also my responsibility, what I do in response to this is MY responsibility, and how it works out, was a product of taking any such inceptive step to resolve the situation, in short my responsiblility. So in conclusion may it be said that to the extent possible, we ourselves are in control of our decisions and actions and when our decisions go wrong in the aftermath we have to consider that we ourselves were primarily responsible for our decisions. We cannot blame others.